There is enough to worry when someone gets groped or mishandled in
public. As children our parents do not teach us how and why it is wrong
to be touched anywhere without consent. We grow up suddenly unaware of
our rights and then as adults we are told we are women and our duty is
to bear children. How little we know of ourselves when we enter
marriage. And then the next cycle begins when we barely recognise our
rights as women.
We impose some restrictions based on what we have undergone as children, hoping to protect them but failing miserably. As parents we think we have done a great job but little do we know what we have failed to do. Is there a right way except be honest with ourselves about our fears and hope that they do not carry over to our children?
My experiences on the street or in a bus or in a public place is not going to prevent my daughter from suffering such ignominy from men on the prowl. I wish I could find a way around to celebrate my daughter, enjoy her and be sure that she has not been mishandled until she is ready to settle for a full-fledged adult life on her terms.
In the past fortnight much has been said about rape, molestation and sexual assault. Yet, very few are even talking of self-defence. I remember the first time my husband, Raghunath, taught me some strokes. I asked him why I should learn them. He said, "in case somebody steals your handbag, you should be able to thwart him."
I did not pay much attention then but it did put the germ of an idea in my brain. I have been bold, walking deserted streets alone and driving home by myself late in the night. There was one occasion I had the unpleasant experience of two men on a motorbike slapping my back as I was riding home by scooter from work, one night.
Luck was on my side and I saw a police constable riding pillion on a moped and I stopped him. I complained to him. I told him which direction the two men drove and left, suddenly aware that I was very vulnerable. But I saw him immediately call someone on the phone.
When I casually mentioned to a police reporter-friend the next day, he told me that the police have a roster of such fellows. In effect, he brushed aside the incident as something he comes across everyday. But I was not convinced that such an incident would not occur again though I realise that I do not have much choice even today.
I feel as vulnerable as I did when I was a child. At that age fear was alien as I did not know words like rape and assault. Today I know the meaning of these words and I fear not just for my safety but for all those young girls who walk to school or play in the playground unaware of the lurking dangers.
The reason for this blog: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2254819/Indian-gang-rape-spoke-ordeal-lay-dying-I-thrashed-kicked--boiling-anger-murmuring-kill.html
We impose some restrictions based on what we have undergone as children, hoping to protect them but failing miserably. As parents we think we have done a great job but little do we know what we have failed to do. Is there a right way except be honest with ourselves about our fears and hope that they do not carry over to our children?
My experiences on the street or in a bus or in a public place is not going to prevent my daughter from suffering such ignominy from men on the prowl. I wish I could find a way around to celebrate my daughter, enjoy her and be sure that she has not been mishandled until she is ready to settle for a full-fledged adult life on her terms.
In the past fortnight much has been said about rape, molestation and sexual assault. Yet, very few are even talking of self-defence. I remember the first time my husband, Raghunath, taught me some strokes. I asked him why I should learn them. He said, "in case somebody steals your handbag, you should be able to thwart him."
I did not pay much attention then but it did put the germ of an idea in my brain. I have been bold, walking deserted streets alone and driving home by myself late in the night. There was one occasion I had the unpleasant experience of two men on a motorbike slapping my back as I was riding home by scooter from work, one night.
Luck was on my side and I saw a police constable riding pillion on a moped and I stopped him. I complained to him. I told him which direction the two men drove and left, suddenly aware that I was very vulnerable. But I saw him immediately call someone on the phone.
When I casually mentioned to a police reporter-friend the next day, he told me that the police have a roster of such fellows. In effect, he brushed aside the incident as something he comes across everyday. But I was not convinced that such an incident would not occur again though I realise that I do not have much choice even today.
I feel as vulnerable as I did when I was a child. At that age fear was alien as I did not know words like rape and assault. Today I know the meaning of these words and I fear not just for my safety but for all those young girls who walk to school or play in the playground unaware of the lurking dangers.
The reason for this blog: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2254819/Indian-gang-rape-spoke-ordeal-lay-dying-I-thrashed-kicked--boiling-anger-murmuring-kill.html
